That's it. That's the news. An update is coming... sometime soon... someday in the future... You'll love this next part.
Eirin
Febuary 4th, 2024
WOW, IT'S PEAK... + Small Event
January 17th, Koggy Admin
Babe, wake up. After a huge delay, the newest Touhou Fortress installment finally came out; it's Aya! Anyone unaware of the new Touhou Fortress installments should head over
to the mods page immediately, or click here for Aya's Gamebanana page. Using the No-Hats mod is recommended; someday, the Touhou
hats from this server might be compatible with the new Touhou models instead. Once all 9 classes are out we can finally kiss the western artstyle goodbye and inhabit eternal bliss
forever, and that's probably the most important thing going on in TF2 at the moment.
Happy new year! + an experiment
Now that there's news, we're finally able to wish you a happy new year. Today (that's Wednesday Jan. 17th) we'll be performing a small experiment; the server will be reduced to
the standard 24 player size, and the mapcycle will be trimmed down to the most iconic and replayable Kogasatopia maps fathomable. The aim is to create a more streamlined experience
with minimal annoyances, and to see if it provides relief from the standard format. If well received, the event may recur each Wednesday... speaking of which, I've received word that as a punishment
for these enlightened ideas, the server will be forced to provide Balloon Race this Sunday. View the mapcycle plan here.
Updateroni!
Febuary 4th, 2024 Every Wednesday the mapcycle and playercount will be shaved down; The playercount limit becomes 28 and the server will become unlisted from the browser above 20 players.
The mapcycle link above will remain updated automatically.
[KOG]chads just won.
December 5th, Koggy Admin
The Kogasa RGL team just won a gold Highlander trophy; IT'S FAT! Make sure to congradulate any comp gentlemen you see on the server and treat them like a higher class above
everyone else. RGL's top caster refused to cover the match live and instead streamed the F2P sausage fest match for the Bronze trophy because success breeds controversy and
Crooked Hillary had to suppress this information. Note: the image above isn't actually of the comp team.
Christmas Banners are Needed!
'Tis the season. So far, Kogasatopia only has 3 Christmas MoTDs in it's rotation and that's a huge problem. We ask that interested readers create a 900 by 640 banner that is
somewhat Christmas-Touhou related and submit them to the TF2 thread at the "Community" link on this page. Want to look at examples? Visit the motd directory
Here. Never seen an motd before? This is extremely bad; hit up cl_disablehtmlmotd 0.
Steel Trad Pro just dropped
"I'm Trad and I'm Pro."
WAOW! New Koishi Mod!
November 15th, Koggy Admin
Babe, come take a look at this. It looks like someone lead Koishi into TF2 by offering her candy and now us TF2chads are eating good toni- HOLD THE FUCK UP.
While writing this, Nitori Engineer dropped too. Let's install these new class replacements so that TF2 becomes badass and cool like Nico Nico Douga. Both links are available on the mods page.
New Huge Nuke Just Dropped
September 26th, Koggy Admin
Whoopsie doodle, there's been a mixup at the Kogasa factory! They made a map WAY TOO BIG! And they made Keiki a D-D-D-DEER? No one deserves a mixup that bad; that's why our scientists just figured out how to make pickups look normal while leaving Halloween cosmetics enabled, and that means you can finally install the Touhou Health & Pickups mod.Get it NOW.
Fanart page & Map Updates
"holy shit, it's finally a thing after how long?" - Someone actually said this when being sent the news. "wow that is... kino" - Dragon said that. As you can see the greyed out "artwork" button towards the top is no longer grey and you should go there now; It's basically a cisgender neurotypical Louvre that shows who we are and helps promote racial unity. Don't like toddlers and animals? LEAVE. Submissions are open at the listed email which happened to replace mine, which is because I'm going into the hyperbolic time chamber and allowing the janitors to take over. Will our heroes survive this one?
These images are relevant because Dustbowl Pro and Lumberyard Pro just got an update along with the release of Koth_Brawl. Thanks go to our Tf2maps inside man, who I won't address by name because this site might be controversial and tf2maps is some kind of satan-worshipping cabal. Despite being a touhou friend I paid him 3 keys for his service so if you don't like the maps it's VERY BAD! Dustbowl pro stage 2 no longer kills Blu players when they change classes.
What if the Soldier DOMINATED Touhou characters?
August 30th, Koggy Admin
Wake up babe, one of our top guys just released an amazing impression of the Soldier; it's not featured here because one of our guys made it, it's here because it's THAT good - literally everyone is awestruck - and we need to raise awareness of this. It's so good that it's dumbfounding that one of our guys made it instead of scribbling gyates for the millionth time or something of the sort.
Happy Birthday Rika!
August 21st, Koggy Admin
Boom.
Somehow, Banttf2 Returned
July 12th, Koggy Admin
Due to a fire in a New York datacenter, many services have been rendered offline for the past few days, ironically including both Kogasatopia and that one other server. Services returned Wednesday evening, and the
gyates have #BuiltBackBetter. The server has been full all evening like it usually is, thanks in part to the TF2 summer update, which our hivemind has decided sucks; more on that below.
TF2 Summer update: It's mid
Several hours before gyate.net returned, the much anticipated TF2 summer update flanally dropped; despite everyone's expectations being low, the update does indeed contain only maps and hats. Notably, cp_steel has been renovated and is now much more similar to cp_steel_pro, which is a downgrade due to the removal of iconic exploits and reducing the detail of several rooms for the sake of "visual clarity" (which is retarded because you can frag in a messy room if you're so great)
Additionally, Valve has added VSH to casual, and i'm being told that it includes new voice lines for every mercenary, which all sound terrible and like completely different characters. This is less relevant than cp_steel because it only concerns casual and none of us go there.
The cosmetics and koth_rotunda (update: we hate rotunda now) are pretty keyed though!
To #StopTheSteel, nominate cp_steel_trad.
Happy Birthday Kogasatopia!
June 26th, Koggy Admin
Time flies dude! It's now been one year since the last day we played as a Sunday-only server and had our unexpected miracle of starting to play constantly. The update bonus page has finally released, because withholding it to have something awesome for the anniversary was a smart move.
May Trump is Christ, cp_dustbowl_pro, cp_product_pro, Touhou hats, the Mini-Hakkero and the Guinea Pig be well with us both in this life and in the pilgrimage of a thousand years which we have described.
The Trump Has Landed
June 10th, Koggy Admin
Babe, wake the fuck up, the new banttf2 update just came out. The only twist is that like last time, new content comes out each day like an ACTUAL tf2 update instead of us blowing our load all at once. The update page will be expanded daily until the 14th. Get ready for new hats, in-house maps like Bantwater-style Upward and Dustbowl, and obscure changes that are barely worth listing but will make a big difference for your quality of life in the Koggy. View "Trump is Christ" here.
Miscellaneous News
May 26th, Koggy Admin
https://youtu.be/RJzeGHARXL Holy smokio! ('holy smokio will not be tolerated' t. smokio) A new tf2tuber video just came out; but this time, it was filmed on Koggy, by Koggy, for Koggies. Like it or not, if this video gets tons of views and likes, it means we're winning. That means upvote it and share it with your friends A.S.A.P., because everyone knows that TF2 is much more popular on tiktok and youtube than the actual game is. Play TF2 all day like a loser? Chances are, you show up in this video.
Twitter just dropped
Noticed that the Twitter icon on the site is different now? I sure did. That's because Kogasatopia now has a Twitter page, which will tweet important photos and make snarky replies to people who get banned and complain. This was motivated by the unfortunate reality that everyone here is only here because of the astronomically small chance that they ran into Koggy, which is a bit sad to think about. With some luck, this traditional form of publicity will let people who would otherwise love to be playing here actually know that the server exists.
Zesty just linked up with banttf2
Due to being harassed about 'Gasa on his streams and Twitter, Zesty checked the Kog out. Initially he was not noticed or cared about, despite someone confirming that it was the real deal, but he eventually became topical, and began answering people's questions. Despite being owned and streamsniped by banttf2 gamers in the past he's actually a pretty down to earth guy, and has since visited the server several times. More importantly, he tweeted a picture of a saucy Touhou spray from the server, along with the words 'Remember what they took from you'. This confirms that banttf2 is trad. View Zesty's tweet here.
dom_hydro_b4; New gem?
May 5th, Koggy Admin
"WHAT IF HYDRO WERE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT AND HAD A QUIRKY NEW VERSION?", a question that TF2 redditors ask all the time. However, it looks like Kogasa's top engineers have cracked the code, and have finally made Hydro into an awesome map that TF2 gamers can play all day.
This map makes every area of Hydro available - barring Blu and Red's final bases from the original - and is focused on holding points for as long as possible, like KoTH but with 4 caps instead. The more capture points your team owns, the faster the clock will tick down. Additionally, capturing a point allows your team to resupply and spawn in the nearby base, and holding all four at once wins the round for your team, because your enemies won't have a base anymore.
This awesome gimmick has probably never been done before, which means we are inventors and scientists. NOTE: the hydro yukkuri are not real
Attention, Yukari Whalers!
April 13th, Koggy Admin
Happy Passover! The new Kogasatopia website just dropped; it's like Teamfortress.com but more Kogasatopia oriented... we even have a blog now. Everything related to the server will now be featured here.
The last few Kogasatopia seasonal updates have been focused on weapon changes, but this time we have few; that's because we'd run out if we blew our load right now. Instead, along with some new features like being able to nominate workshop maps by name, we've added the Versus Saxton Hale gamemode to the server for the first time, which became possible with Vscript on March 17th. Read more about Vscript VSH here...
New mods page just dropped
Babe, what if there were Kogasatopia .vpk files that would make the TF2 world subtly more Touhou related? They actually exist; we just haven't had a place to list all of them until now. Each one has been carefully selected by how faithfully it fits TF2's artstyle since Kogasatopia occasionally cares about quality control.
Pictured is our important new mod that replaces most of TF2's signs and decals with Kogasatopia related ones, and it changes the ambulance and Dispenser textures slightly too. Other important vpk files include a Marisa hat that replaces the Ghostly Gibus and sexy Touhou calendars, which are soulful because they match the original poses of the TF2 calendars.
Visit the VPK list here.
Baby Update - October
Somehow, Barnblitz returned.
General
Added bantculturedotcom
Added WhaleTracker
Added CAREFULLY-PICKED Halloween maps to preserve the high T vibes
Added Cirno new koth maps: Bale of Hay, Slime, Harvest Event, Eyeaduct, Sawmill Event, Los Muertos, Megalo, Moonshine, Genbu Ravine
Added 2 new pd maps: Cursed Cove, Mannsylvania
Added 1 new ctf map: Crasher
Kogasatopia Changelog - September
I am so inconceivably BORED of my IMPRISONMENT that I am adding new CONTENT from my CELL in which I am IMPRISONED.
General
Starting map after restarts is now a random Touhouslop one to increase variety, but Touhvest is most common.
Added several automated functions, namely replacing the mapcycle with a more quirky one after 9:00 PM EST
The quirky mapcycle is the same as the normal one but with more frisky maps left in; check the additions on the info page or below
Battlemetrics has replaced Gametracker because it has seemingly become abandonware, rest in peace
motds now cycle daily
Gamerules
Map cooldown reduced to 5 from 7
tf_holiday has been replaced with a halloween cosmetics enabler, finally allowing compatibility with pickup model replacements
Respawn times are now handled automatically to improve gameplay experience, <=14 players disables them, >14 players re-enables them on objective gamemodes
The autobalance threshhold is also adjusted by the system above
Maps
Stupidcar updated, becomes Stupidercar. Details are unknown.
cp_dustbowl_pro_a3 is out; changing class in stage 2 blu spawn no longer kills. More sovl added elsewhere.
Koth_brawl_rc1 is out. Don't like it? LEAVE.
koth_lumberyard_pro has been optimized by tf2maps guy and should now run fantastically
Mapcycle reduced dramatically to stop spontaneous server death, barnblitz included in casualties
Weapons
Weapon reverts page is now up to date
Backscatter is now 10% more accurate with no damage penalty because 20% and a damage penalty was too sadomasochistic
Expanded Mapcycle Maps
Added 2 new CTF maps: Turbine Festive, 2fort Minecraft
Added 5 new Payload maps: Manngrove, Barnblitz, Breadspace, Casserole, Dogwater
Added 1 new Domination map: Clifhanger
Added 1 new TC map: Strata
Added 1 new Passtime map: Smalltime
Added 1 new Arena map: Glass constructionsite
Kogasatopia Changelog - June?
General
TF2 Summer Update just dropped
pl_pheonix, pd_selbyen cp_steel received an update
cp_steel is being preserved as cp_steel_trad due to controversy
Gamerules
Free to Play and new accounts are no longer able to connect
Chat voicelines are now always disabled
Disabled teammates pushing eachother... this may be toggled on and off by playercount thresholds in the near future
Maps
Added 2 new payload maps: Pheonix, Boxcanyon
Added 1 new 5cp map: Reckoner
Added 1 new koth map: Sharkbay
Added 1 new CTF map: Topsoil
Hardwood, Rotunda, Venice and the others have since been removed due to overwhelmingly low quailty
The update being a failure has provoked map soulseeking... expect new maps to be tested during playtime, and suggest new ones anywhere you can reach us
Weapons
Replaced all Sandman stuns below 1200 HU with marks for death
All impacts above 1200 HU stun for 2 seconds
Replaced the Back Scatter's 20% accuracy penalty with a 20% accuracy bonus
Removed all changes to The Classic; instead, it charges 50% faster
The Buffalo Steak Sandvich no longer applies a 20% damage vulnerability debuff when in effect
The Sharpened Volcano Fragment now mini-crits burning targets
The Overdose now makes the user slower than default until holding >50% ubercharge
Other
Created koth_product_pro
Created cp_dustbowl_pro_a1
Updated the Marisa hat; all classes are now fitted properly
Added new signs to the touhou signs mod
Tenshi Hat, Shikieiki hat and Iku hat are now available
The Summer update adding VSH doesn't effect our own maps in any way, for example, they do not have the new mercenary voicelines, which is good!
Removed Boom
Kogasatopia Changelog - April
April 2023
General
Enabled explosive jumping during setup time
Added nominating any workshop map by name
Gamerules
Free to Play accounts are automatically kicked when the server is full
Respawn times are automatically enabled on ctf and koth maps when there are more than 22 players online
Maps
Added 3 new payload maps: Eruption, Extinction, Repository
Added 2 new 5cp maps: Granary, Riverside
Added 2 new VSH maps: Hakurei Shrine, Distillery
Added 2 new koth maps: Disneyworld, Moonshine
Added 1 new ctf map: Gumption
Weapons
Halved the duration of Sandman stuns
Decreased the Degreaser's total switch speed bonus +65% -> +50%
Re-added Demoman Booties providing a movement speed buff without a shield
Gave Booties the ability to stomp
Re-added 65% less self explosive damage while using a shield
Added the 10% movement speed while active bonus to all Heavy shotguns
Re-added the Shortstop's original velocity increases (+20% -> +80%) and +20% bonus from healing sources
Re-added the Baby Faces Blaster's +20% bonus to accuracy, -10% damage penalty and -20% base speed penalty
Decreased the Air Strike's bonuses to the following: +35% reload speed, -5% blast radius while grounded
Replaced the Your Eternal Reward's silent decloak ability with a +20% swing speed bonus
Decreased the Overdose's and Eviction Notice's speed on hit duration to one second
Other
Fixed a bug causing soldiers to have higher air control than default
Made a rare bug involving hud_reloadscheme less common: resizeable sprays, airblast jumping and heavysprint will often be disabled while this issue is further studied
Made the Loose Cannon actually deal 60 damage on impact instead of having a hidden 10% damage bonus
Added dm_sdm
Added pl_bantwater
Removed Boom
Bruh Broadcasting Channel
October 22nd, 2023
New Touhou map: Koth Genbu Ravine
October 20th, 2023
Addendum: we have our own 4chan now. TF2 players can visit automatically, but if not, try guessing the password.
Ancient banttf2 culture map "koth brawl" is being remade by a tf2maps inside man
Gametracker is out, Battlemetrics is in
Looksmax.org Nenpo
July 19th, 2023
Sproke
The Daily Whale
May 24th, 2023
Koggy twitter just dropped, follow it NOW
Zesty Jesus repents and plays on Kogasatopia; tweets an image of a large Touhou spray, states it's one of the only places left to play TF2
Resizable Sprays and the text plugin have returned
FlaminSarge (maintainer of tf2attributes and many important TF2 plugins) starts visiting Koggy
Koggy comp team plays for the first time; wins 'bigly' because they had fun
New collab between Gamebanana Guy and Koggy just dropped, "Kogasa's Umbrella for Scotsman's Skullcutter"
New amazing yukkuri mod for The Sandman just dropped, includes immersive sounds
A redditor complains about Kogasatopia on reddit; he receives 8000 upvotes, but the thread is locked because too many redditors think Koggy is awesome.
u/jude90245 mysteriously disappears
Touhvest gets an update, includes yukari whale and extremely captivating televisions
Iku hat, Tenshi hat & Shikieiki hat for other f2p turd hats like the Mann Co. Cap enter development
Awesome new tf2tube video about the Scottish Resistance just dropped, is Kogasatopia-oriented
The Sniper (VA) is doing something at Valve. New TF2 content? Don't make me kek!
Vscript VSH on the Hakurei Shrine will get updated soon... eventually. In-home changes to the mod will begin there
I have done nothing but drink Sproke for 3 days
The Nue York Times
April 23rd 2023
Zesty Jesus is asked about Kogasatopia on a livestream; he is visibly infuriated.
Chdata (maintainer of the VSH plugin and owner of touhou vsh server) visits Kogasatopia to play Vscript hale
"Highlander Friday" enters theorycrafting stage
!tts micspammer makes a brief return
Scat Humvee installs windows to use hammer
Kogasatopia MGE map with an Eientei theme enters development; will feature otaku-culture-ified versions of Gullywash Middle, Badlands Middle & Spire, Ammomod, and all-new areas keyed on your favorite TH8 IN locations.
Cheireiden themed A/D map enters development
Boom makes a cameo on the Kogasatopia changelog
Bantwater enters the mapcycle for the first time since June
New Touhou TF2 VPK "Touhou 17 Animal Spirits" drops on Gamebanana
b4nny finishes consuming Yomps and goes hungry; gets OWNED by Habib.
Dragon protects his MGE king status... Madocheyed might be the only person able to stop him.
Kogasatopians begin planning an NA RGL team
Morocco defends the integrity of junko whale
Previously unheard music on dm_sdm is discovered in Patchouli's room
A trans folk complains about Kogasatopia on reddit, describing "extreme racism and transphobia" even though we are racially diverse
Chat color and wordfilter plugin takes a dirtnap; the future of the plugin is as yet unknown
Admin Email
aryanchad@hitler.rocks
Ban Appeals
see above
Note: the cute pixel art is from https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/67612950
